Mind the GeekConference50min
The Dark Secrets of Computer Science
A humorous talk about the absurdities of software engineering: legacy systems, language quirks, bad integrations, confusing standards, and endless debates like Lombok vs. reactive, CORS, date formats, and vi. It riffs on technical pain points, from Y2K38 and IEEE 754 to WASM, Excel, and bizarre HTTP codes.
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Fabien MarsaudNonstatic
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Thursday, October 8, 15:00-15:50
TBA 7
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The idea stems from https://xkcd.com/2347/ and Mark Rendle’s talk at Devoxx.be 2024.
Most people are unaware of the hassles we face (or inflict upon ourselves) regarding legacy systems, technical choices, or our own organizational structures.
The goal is to have a laugh about our points of contention (Lombok? Reactive? Date formats?), our nemeses (printers, CORS), language quirks—including the fact that you can run *Doom* inside the TypeScript type system—why no one truly understands C++, wacky HTTP status codes, centering `div`s (of course), the Y2K non-event versus the real Y2K38 problem, RGB vs. CMYK, April Fools' RFCs, web page and file encoding issues, consistently botched Excel integrations, business-dictated file naming conventions, the headache of IEEE 754 rounding, the "ultimate" email validation regex, hidden (or missing) CPU instructions, the shift toward inclusivity since 2020 (dropping "master/slave" terminology...), SOA, the long-awaited WASM, corporate timesheets, and—last but not least—the crucial question: *how do you exit vi?*
Most people are unaware of the hassles we face (or inflict upon ourselves) regarding legacy systems, technical choices, or our own organizational structures.
The goal is to have a laugh about our points of contention (Lombok? Reactive? Date formats?), our nemeses (printers, CORS), language quirks—including the fact that you can run *Doom* inside the TypeScript type system—why no one truly understands C++, wacky HTTP status codes, centering `div`s (of course), the Y2K non-event versus the real Y2K38 problem, RGB vs. CMYK, April Fools' RFCs, web page and file encoding issues, consistently botched Excel integrations, business-dictated file naming conventions, the headache of IEEE 754 rounding, the "ultimate" email validation regex, hidden (or missing) CPU instructions, the shift toward inclusivity since 2020 (dropping "master/slave" terminology...), SOA, the long-awaited WASM, corporate timesheets, and—last but not least—the crucial question: *how do you exit vi?*
Fabien Marsaud
A backend Java cowboy and impossible algorithms adept, proficient in Kafka, K8s, and Mongo, I specialize in "IT battlefield medicine" and hotfixing systems in the most unlikely places. I’ve held various roles across IT consultancies, startups, and freelance gigs, and even taught at an engineering school. I’m a huge electronic music collector and have even run a music label.
Early in my career, I worked on government contracts—which is how I ended up programming a good chunk of the embedded software for automated speed cameras. After Covid, I handled orders and logistics for Cultura, followed by a nuclear-sector project at EDF. I’m now working into occult stuff for Betclic.
I appreciate people who write specs and those who aren't afraid to pop the hood. I love trolling the corporate "NPCs." I coined the phrase "coding like a bear" to describe being "in the zone," and I make a habit of swearing at my AI assistant in English.
Early in my career, I worked on government contracts—which is how I ended up programming a good chunk of the embedded software for automated speed cameras. After Covid, I handled orders and logistics for Cultura, followed by a nuclear-sector project at EDF. I’m now working into occult stuff for Betclic.
I appreciate people who write specs and those who aren't afraid to pop the hood. I love trolling the corporate "NPCs." I coined the phrase "coding like a bear" to describe being "in the zone," and I make a habit of swearing at my AI assistant in English.